The “E” Word

Those 40- and 50-something wimps whining about getting old have no idea what they’re in for when the birthdays really start speeding by. Wait until they find out what 60-something and beyond feels like.

It’s time to suck it up and admit that you’re elderly when:

1. You engage in a daily tug of war with your spouse over the ice pack and the Advil bottle.

2. You begin to question your decision to purchase a multilevel home when you forget your keys on the dresser for the umpteenth time.

3. Girls night out is early bird hour at Carrows.

4. You spot one of your kids’ favorite toys from childhood for sale in an antique shop.

5. You share the drama of the teens in your life…and you’re talking about your grandchildren.

6. You organize your vast and growing collection of meds in the Dewey Decimal System.

7. You know what the Dewey Decimal System is.

8. You fantasize about the hot guy in the AARP commercial.

9. You begin subtly coaxing your kids to redecorate their guest room to reflect your style aesthetic.

10. Pulling an all nighter means you didn’t have to get up to pee.

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